There is no question in my mind that 100 men could beat 1 gorilla. It's just not a fair fight. Excluding the fact that humans have guns and bombs, gorillas just aren't that tough. Sure, I wouldn't want to fight one alone, but 100 dudes? c'mon. I mean seriously! Sure, a gorilla will tear your arms off, but then what's he gonna do? Beat you to death with your own arms? Yeah, right. honestly, gorillas can suck it. Weak ass omnivores.

Now humans on the other hand–humans are strong. Humans built the HyperMall. Humans are pure carnivores who eat nothing but grunt-pig roller dogs and oreo cakesters. Humans are the ultimate warriors and I'm tired of pretending they're not.

Of course, if one were to merge the superior intellect of a human with the upper body strength of a western lowlands gorilla (gorilla gorilla gorilla), then maybe. Just MAYBE you'd get a super soldier capable of destroying your competition and dominating the private security industry.

Of course, there's always the possibility that the gorilla-man hybrid monster creature will wake up with nothing but the unyielding urge to return to the jungle and frolick amongst his kind. That could happen, I suppose. But you certainly aren't going to see me bet on it! That's the kind of thing that would cost this company a small fortune in SLAUGHTR contract fees, and even if such a thing were to occur (which I assure you, the odds of it happening are 1 Million-to-1 if that), then that's just the kind of risk we'll have to take. Capitalism is all about smart fellas like me taking risks, right?

...

What's that? He got out? And he's looking for... what did you say? "gorilla bride"?

Well shit.

- Max Actionio